hell was getting low on the front page so i thought i'd take this oportunity
to ask a quik question out of curiosity.
as there is no member list here at ez (a good thing i think), i was just
wondering how many members there are here to date? in the last month i've
noticed a huge increase in the total members logged in. we seem to have gone
from an average of 4-7 online to upward of 50 most of the time. so this
spiked my curiosity on the member stats.
have you seen the new jimmy kimmel clip with ben affleck?
cameos from a shitload of stars inc robin williams, huey luis, cameron diaz
mary j blige plus many more
you know it just occured to me that the person who coined the
expression "like
taking candy from a baby" is probably the biggest asshole in the history of the
world.
you know i spent a day of it trying to steal candy from babies and ended up in
lock up with a black eye and scratches all over my face. he was wrong, its not
easy at all. mums and dads are psycho these days and are onto this candy taking
thing.
dont believe what your hear in those dumb sayings, as there are more than two
birds in the bush and the one in your hand will just poop on you..
that reminds me of something that happened recently. i was walking down the
street when this guy an a chester-the-molester van (you know, the big white
windowless ones) pulled up beside me and asked if i wanted some candy. i was
full at the moment (big lunch) so i respectfully declined. creepy, it was.
hmm, i suppose i'm not a baby (well i can be sometimes) and the candy wasn't
being taken away from me, but it was still weird as hell. i think the guy said
his name was numaris.
white windowless vans are awesome. you never know what's inside.
it could be pool cleaning equipment, a bunch of mexicans trying to make it over the
border, or a dismembered prostitute. maybe all three, it'd work well, the
mexicans could make some cash doing the dismemberment and then use the pool
cleaning equipment later for some more side money. also a pool would be quite a
good place to dispose of the dismembered prostitute.
man i need to go find me some mexicans tomarrow.
why? are you a suicidal prostitute with a dirty pool?
i've got 2 dogs. i bought a large bag of meaty bites at big w and was
standing in line at the check-out.
a woman behind me asked if i had a dog.
on impulse, i told her that no, i was starting the meaty bites diet again,
although i probably shouldn't because i ended up in hospital last time, but
that i'd lost 25 kg before i woke in icu with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and iv's in both arms.
i told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with meaty bites and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so
i was going to try it again.
i have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
horrified, she asked if i'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because i had been poisoned by the food.
i told her no, it was because i'd been sitting in the middle of the road
licking my dick and a car hit me.
i thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.